Saul’s conversion and The Journey of Grace…

For some of you this may come easy. My personal journey to grace is one that encompasses my every day walk with the Lord…

I have been in the church since I was a small girl. I become saved at a very young, and impressionable age. I attended seminary with my husband later in life. However, none of these things really prepared me for what was to come.

For so many years I thought I had all this “Christianity thing” figured out. I thought it was as simple as 1…2…3. Well, to my astonishment, there were a great many things I didn’t really know about my faith. Most of what I knew I had relied on others to tell me. I depended on those who were ahead of me to lead me, guide me, and educate me. I soon came to the realization that the answers were already there for me if I just took the the initiative to look for myself. To seek and find.

About three and a half years ago, I was sitting in church listening to a sermon about “how to study your Bible”. As I sat and listened to the pastor I realized, “Yes, this is exactly what I wanted to know how to do!” So I set out to do that very thing immediately. I began a course of action that ultimately lead me to where I’ve always asked the Lord to put me. Here, in the open, using my gifts to spread the word of God. There was just one problem…I had no idea what I was doing.

Once I began the exercises the pastor gave, I soon realized I didn’t really know anything. Sure, I had some verses memorized, and I could spout them in a moments notice. But, did I really know what they meant? The short answer is NO, I didn’t know! It was at that crossroads that I decided to step away from everything, and begin a time of sanctification.

I studied everything I could about the Bible, extra Biblical resources, and numerous ancient texts. I started to uncover facts that I felt I should have known, or been taught. Things, many believers, already knew. “How did I get this far without knowing this stuff?” I asked myself. Things such as the different disciples, and apostles, and which was which? Who was who? Which James is the one that is being referenced; James the brother of Jesus, or the brother of John. I didn’t even know James and John were related. I didn’t know Peter and Andrew were brothers. And this is where the real part of the title comes into play…I didn’t know that the cruel, unjust, murderous Pharisee Saul was none other than our beloved Apostle to the Gentiles Paul! That realization of Paul’s miraculous conversion stopped me in my tracks. How, after so many years, could I have possibly missed this. What a testimate of faith the story of Saul becoming the Apostle Paul.

Reading Paul’s story in his own words, and knowing who he was before is not something one can just digest in a moment. There is more to the story. Not only did he make a miraculous conversion, and it was miraculous. But, he went on to preach the gospel to all the world. He endured death threats, attacks, persecutions, and prison on many occasions. However, Paul continued on with a ferver and passion like no other. Even still though he had an unresolved issue he carried with him. One he called, “A thorn in my flesh”-2 Cor 12:7 (NASB) Paul mentions that he asked the Lord three times to take away this thorn that Satan is using to torment him, but the Lord replied, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”-2 Cor 12:9

Many have speculated as to the “what” the thorn is referring to. Many, as do I, feel Paul is lamenting over all the Christians persecuted on his authority while he was still known as the Pharisee “Saul of Tarsus”. You see for some of you it may not be known that Paul was directly responsible for the persecution and killing of many Christians after the resurrection of Jesus Christ at Calvary. As a Pharisee, Paul saw the Christians as defiling the Law of Moses, which the penalty was death. He took it on himself to root them out, and dispatch them so they would not tempt others to sin. On one of his missions to track down Christians who had fled Jerusalem Paul was suddenly overcome by blindness. It was in that moment that Jesus spoke to Paul, and Paul’s conversion to Christianity began. He would no longer be known as Saul, but rather Paul the Apostle to the Gentiles. So, from that point on he began his mission to spread the Gospel to the ends of the Earth.

What does all this mean as far as grace? Well, for me it comes back to my own weaknesses. The insecurity I feel for not knowing what I thought I should have known. The daily physical pain, and emotional pain I endure from a life that has been less than kind to me. In these moments, I can look to Paul’s personal pleas to God, and hear the words,”my grace is sufficient for you.” To know that God’s power is perfect in my weakness helps me to “power” through the times that the “thorn” in my side becomes tormenting. Let’s face it, we all have a thorn, or many thorns we would rather have removed than to carry with us. It is in those moments that I want to encourage you to pray on the words of the Lord in 2 Cor 12:9-“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

Take some time today to re-evaluate your perspective about how you see yourself coping this vast world. Ask yourself this one simple question, “Is the Lord’s grace sufficient for me today? If not, then what can I do to make it so?” Pray for the Lord’s wisdom to help guide you. This is not an easy journey, but it is a journey. Best we walk it with the One who can use it to glorify the Kingdom I think.

May this Bless your day. I pray God’s wisdom will be upon you. As always…

all my love in Christ Jesus,

Annie 🙂